:)

I wasn't sure if anyone would read what I wrote yesterday. I was lashing out & trying to act like I don't care, but I felt so worthless. Then this morning I logged on & saw that Helen had commented. Thanks, girlie, that made me so happy! I think I will be OK now. :)
So yesterday, when I woke up my mom had breakfast made for me & a lunch packed. I waited until my parents & siblings had all left. (I don't have to be at school til 9 on Tuesdays & Thursdays.) Then I went downstairs & started running everything down the garbage disposal. I felt a little guilty... especially since she'd made biscuits which are really good. But I remembered a quote I heard once: "Wasting food is wasting food whether in a body that doesn't need it or in a trashcan. The difference is that it won't hurt the trashcan, but it will hurt you." I ate one baby carrot & ran up & down the stairs 40 times. (2 sets of 20 with a 30 second break in between) I felt so GOOD!!! I felt strong & powerful &.... Anorexic! The EDNOS, Mia feelings are hard to deal with. I'm not trying to put down anyone who has those disorders, but for me it's like, I was Ana's girl first & foremost & then all these other things happened & I changed. It feels really good to be getting back. It's like coming home. :)
I have to admit, I did eat a slice of pizza last night. I don't know how many calories, but it couldn't have been that many. Even if it was 500, that's still like the only thing I ate! So I'm not letting it get me down.
I had to be into school early this morning, so my mom hadn't even made breakfast yet. She gave me some money for food. I might get a Diet Pepsi or something later if I feel like I need energy. I should be OK with just water though.
Tonight is the photo shoot for the play I am in. Yeah, I made it btw. :) It's the Mikado by Gilbert & Sullivan & I am Pitti-Sing, the mezzo soprano. I know that probably made no sense to anyone... But anyway, photo shoot tonight. Here's to hoping I look thin! I'm not really supposed to lose weight until it's over, but a few pounds won't hurt. 3 weeks til curtain. 3 weeks til all out weight loss!YAAAAYYY!!!!