I had a lot of things I wanted to talk about the other day, but this new situation has kinda made me forget them. Wednesday I was supposed to go running with Ariel after school. So I met up with her & Cassie was there too. That's when they told me I was not going running that day. I was going with them to get some cheesecake.
Flashback 2 years... I was at my lowest weight. I'd been living off apples, celery, and Diet Pepsi for... well... it seemed like forever. They took me to get cheesecake. Said they were worried about me. I couldn't eat it. Not even for them. I broke down crying. And I went into recovery. Then I went into bulimia. Then back to recovery. Now... I'm probably EDNOS. I'm not anorexic because my BMI isn't low enough and I still have my period.
So apparently my friends got worried and decided I needed another intervention. As soon as they said "cheesecake", I knew what was up. So I went with them. I ate the cheesecake & purged it later. And I tried to tell them I'm fine. It's not a big deal. Because it isn't... is it?
Why can't I just get well?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Stay strong, do what you think is right.
ReplyDeletexo
I wish I could give you the answer to that question.
ReplyDeleteBut its a hard one to answer.
Its a complicated and tangled know thats oh so difficult to untie.
I wish I could give you the world.
Which may sound strange coming from someone you dont know.
but my heart feels for you.
I'm sorry dear.
Love, Andy
Helen- Thank you, girlie. I wish I knew what was right. I'll keep digging deep into myself.
ReplyDeleteAndy-It is hard indeed. I feel for you as well; you are working so hard in your recovery & I know it is not easy. I believe you will get well, though.
I know, its so hard, I didn't know how to answer this post, I don't know the answer myself, I wish I did, I'm sorry I don't. Just keep hanging in there.
ReplyDelete