Derek... I love you...

I know it's for the best. I know I'm too far gone, & I couldn't stand to make you watch your girlfriend slowly shrink into nothing. I know you couldn't understand why I was tired of trying, tired of fighting. I know you feel betrayed. I know you feel inadequate. I know you feel that I chose anorexia over you. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I shut you out. I'm sorry I loved you too much to let you in. If you completely understood what it's like inside my head right now, it would crush you inside. So I couldn't let you understand. And I let go.
Derek, I love you. I will always, always love you.
~Nat