Monday, April 26, 2010

Oh, Steven...

For those of you that may not remember, Steven is my ex before my current ex. He's also one of my best friends. He told me he wanted to talk to me. We went to a little coffee shop & I pretended to drink a latte. He said I don't look happy anymore. He asked why I broke up with Derek since I was so obviously in love with him. I told him I needed space to think. He asked if I still loved Derek. I told him I only date boys I love. He asked if that meant I still loved him. I told him that I did, but that he was too much like my brother. You can't date your brother. He smiled and asked if I was really doing OK. I said I was OK, just tired, which is true. I am OK with the fact that I am losing weight & that it is not good for me. That is not OK to him, but he doesn't need to know. He walked home with me & hugged me good-bye. Afterwards, I felt so very alone. I binged and purged which I hadn't done in quite a while. But it's all right. I ate some celery for lunch today (negative calories),and that's all I'm having. I have a cast party to go to tonight, but "I ate before I came." I'm going to weigh in tomorrow morning. The number doesn't matter that much, but I want to know where I stand. I know I've lost; I can see ribs. Well, I'll find out tommorow & let you lovely girls know! :)

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