I'm getting sick. I'm lonely. I love people & they don't love me. And all of this is because I wasn't strong enough to stand up & fight. I gave in. I let Ana take me. I took the easy way out. It's easy for me to focus on numbers instead of life. It's easy to come up with a reason not to eat instead of sitting down & giving my body the food it needs while my soul screams in protest. It doesn't take strength for me to be anorexic. It takes incredible strength to be normal. And I'm not strong.
I know this: I DON'T want to get well.
But if I don't, I will eventually die.
Thinking through all of this is too much right now. So I will do my homework while my friends eat lunch. After school I will go to rehearsal & come home & run. I will be a pound or two closer to nothing tomorrow. And I'll sing & feel good about it. And I'll be dying.
Girls, listen. Don't let yoursleves get this far. Get out of this trap while you still can. Because there will come a time when you can't. I'm there right now. Get out.
I love you,
Nat
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I don't think that it is ever too late, even though sometimes it feels that way, it isn't.
ReplyDeleteI really hope you are okay, love, xo.
I believe that you can get out of this, don't give up. You'll get better eventually, even if right now you don't want to.
ReplyDeleteI really like your blog, bytheway ^^
Take care,
xoxo
Stay strong.
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better soon.
LOVE!
I tagged you :)
ReplyDelete